I like to have control.
Of my time, my work, and my future.
But control is an illusion — and so is our lack of it.
Control is an illusion we create to justify what happens to us.
If things go well, we believe our control led to that outcome.
If things go poorly, we assume forces outside of our control conspired against us.
Neither assessment is true. And yet, both are true.
Let me explain…
We’re never in control.
No matter how much control we think we have of our lives, we never fully control them.
There are too many others involved — other people, other interests, other factors — for us to fully control anything.
Circumstances change. The elements around us are constantly in motion.
We pursue control, aspire to it, and trick ourselves into believing we have it.
But we don’t. Ever.
We’re always in control.
While we never have total control, we’re able to influence everything that happens in our lives.
We have free will, the ability to make decisions, to control how we spend our time, who we surround ourselves with, and what we pursue.
We may not always have the choices we’d like, but we always get to choose.
We control more than we realize — every day we get to make thousands of decisions that impact our lives.
Control is an illusion.
Sometimes, two opposite things can be true. We are both never in control and always in control of our lives.
It’s always been that way and always will be.
To obsess over gaining control or agonize over our lack of it is a waste of time.
Instead, recognize control is a perception and approach it as such.
Choose to use our ability to influence our world without growing frustrated at our inability to control all its elements.
Control isn’t an all-or-nothing game. Let’s not treat it like it is.