Your life is the choices you make – and those choices aren’t always obvious.
Luckily, there are signs all around you showing you what you need to do, where you need to go, and guiding you in the right direction.
But in order to figure your life out, you have to pay attention.
You have to pay attention to the inputs that surround you and decipher the messages they have for you.
Here are a few things worth more of your attention.
Pay attention to the questions people ask you.
Everyone’s got a question for you – friends, family, co-workers, customers, and even strangers.
These questions are valuable. They’re data points.
Because questions reveal what people seek, what they need help with, what they desire, and the problems they need solved.
The questions people ask you also demonstrate what you have – knowledge, experience, empathy, assets – that others value.
When you pay attention to the questions you’re asked, you discover opportunities to create things others want.
You learn what skills and perspective you have that others value.
You get a clue into where opportunities may be found.
Pay attention to words.
Word choice matters.
There are infinite ways to express yourself and the words you use to do so – in conversation, writing, work, and even to yourself – are revealing.
They reveal your bias, insecurity, attitude, and desire.
For example, use of the word “should” can demonstrate an entire negative mindset that fuels your stress or keeps you from happiness. That’s why I’ve stopped using it.
The words others use about you are just as powerful.
How do your friends, family, and colleagues describe you and your work?
You can find deeper meaning in the words they choose if you take a moment to consider them.
For example, subscribers who love my For The Interested newsletter often describe it as “inspiring” or thank me for the “inspiration.”
They may also learn from it, enjoy it, and find it valuable (I hope!), but the word that keeps coming up is “inspiring.”
That means something.
There’s a reason they’re using that word as opposed to countless other possibilities and there’s a reason so many people who don’t know each other keep using the same exact word.
It’s a signal that tells me something about my creation and, more importantly, WHY it resonates with people.
It helps me understand its value – not my intended value, but the actual value the audience receives from it.
That’s important information to know. But I only know it because I pay attention to the words people use.
Pay attention to your time.
Time is your most valuable resource and too often your most overlooked.
The more you pay attention to how you spend and waste it, who you give it to and what you do with it, the more it benefits you.
When you’re protective of your time and refuse to let others steal it, you get more out of it.
And when things in your life aren’t working out the way you hoped, it’s likely the root of your problems can be discovered in how you spend your time.
Pay attention to your instincts.
Your instincts are right. Maybe not always, but way more often than not.
But too often you allow other factors – fear, guilt, worry, other people’s opinions – to influence your decisions and doubt your instincts.
That’s a mistake. Stop listening to people.
Research has found 90% of the time your instincts are correct, yet the percentage of times you follow them is significantly lower I’m sure.
You’d do better to heed your instincts.
Even if they lead you in the wrong direction, you can learn from it and analyze why your instincts led you astray in that instance – if you pay attention to them.
Pay attention to your influences.
You need people to inspire you.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s role models, mentors, or individuals you’ll never meet but admire from afar. What matters is you have them and pay attention to them.
But it’s not enough to just be inspired by your influences – you must study their work, its evolution, how they got where they are, and where they’re going.
There’s no shortage of people in the world who claim to be influenced by Steve Jobs or Oprah Winfrey.
But the number of people who have studied the lives, work, strengths, and weaknesses of Jobs and Winfrey is significantly smaller.
When you identify people or work that influences you, you have the opportunity to do more than be inspired by it – you can learn from it.
But only if you pay closer attention to it.
Pay attention to your dreams.
You’re going to spend roughly a third of your life asleep.
That’s an opportunity.
No matter how close you pay attention to things in our lives, there will still be issues you don’t consciously deal with or recognize.
That’s where dreams come in.
Dreams are powerful tools to process deep issues you may overlook in our waking hours. You can learn a lot from them if you pay attention.
Regardless the specific content of your dreams, consider their emotional underpinnings, tone, and the issues they surface.
Dreams aren’t random.
There’s a reason you have them and a reason for things that happen in them.
It’s up to you to consider them and if you do, they can be a powerful sign that illuminates things you may otherwise miss when awake.
Pay attention to your body.
Much like your dreams, your body is also a tool that sends you signals about the choices you make.
If you catch a cold, it may be because stress has weakened your immune system.
If you have back pain and headaches, it’s likely rooted or amplified by other situations you face and decisions you’ve made.
You’re good at tricking yourself into thinking choices you make and ways you operate are fine when they’re not.
Your body keeps you honest.
Your brain often uses our body to send a signal that you’ve made a wrong turn somewhere along the way.
You’d be wise to listen to it.
Pay attention to your fears.
You’re afraid. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Fear is only a problem when you run from it. Viewed differently, it can represent a valuable signal.
As the brilliant Seth Godin explains, you can treat fear as a compass and and allow it to guide you toward where you need to go.
As he explains:
“The fearless person is well aware of the fear she faces. The fear, though, becomes a compass, not a barrier. It becomes a way to know what to do next, not an evil demon to be extinguished.
When we deny our fear, we make it stronger.
When we reassure the voice in our head by rationally reminding it of everything that will go right, we actually reinforce it.
Pushing back on fear doesn’t make us brave and it doesn’t make us fearless. Acknowledging fear and moving on is a very different approach, one that permits it to exist without strengthening it.
Life without fear doesn’t last very long – you’ll be run over by a bus (or a boss) before you know it. The fearless person, on the other hand, sees the world as it is (fear included) and then makes smart (and brave) decisions.”
Pay attention to your history.
If you’re the kind of person who’s read this far, you’re probably the kind of person who likes to focus on the future, on improving your life, and on what’s next.
That’s great (I’m the same way), but it can also be dangerous.
The more you focus on the future, the easier it is to overlook the value of your past.
Reflection on your experiences helps you learn, analyze, and improve your present and future.
Sometimes, the way forward is only found when you look back.